I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
