I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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