____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
