I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm at about main and main street
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
