i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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