I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize