Having a random hookup so left but love u
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
