benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I did not marry a roomba.
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