How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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