I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
