Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
