He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
