i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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