Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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