Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
