I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
