I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
