I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
