Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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