So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
