It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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