there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
