I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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