I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
