You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
