he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
