Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
