just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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