I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
