is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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