Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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