I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
