clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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