my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
