And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
