Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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