I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
