I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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