I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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