We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
