The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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