Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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