apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
