i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
