I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I am puke
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize