i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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