Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
