You really coming over, don't trick.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
