I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
either way he was missing a nipple.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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