How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize