now i know why i became what i already was.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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