actually, I'm a sock model
I think I am morally bankrupt
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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