took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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