Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
