i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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