"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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