NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
