i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
