I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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